Many state legislatures are still bickering over anti-discrimination laws, and many schools still resist providing an inclusive atmosphere for LGBTQ students. But all over America, “everyday” people have taken up the challenge to “do something about bullying.” Today, their efforts, large and small, are On Our Radar.
It’s Easter! And though I am not a believer, it’s a holiday I appreciate on other levels. (And by other levels, I mostly mean those little foil wrapped chocolate eggs.) But there is another excellent reason to celebrate Easter. It is the holiday that announces the arrival of spring. I live in Michigan. Just making it to spring can give you a feeling of achievement. Every year my mood is buoyed by the greening, and the flowering, and the feeling of a fresh start. Spring is the season for optimists, and today my column is all about optimists.
Trust me, legislatures considering “Don’t Say Gay” bills, or school boards refusing to allow Gay-Straight Alliance groups will be On Our Radar all year. But today, I want to give credit and say thank you to the determined people all over the country who, alone, or in groups large and small, have done something to stop bullying. I think you will be surprised by just how diverse and widespread the movement is.
Hopeful things are happening at all levels. No doubt you’ve heard about some of the higher profile events. Like, just this week, the Weinstein Brothers released (with considerable buzz over the movie’s rating) the acclaimed documentary “Bully,” opening eyes to the subject as only Hollywood can do. The It Gets Better Project recently added Florida Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to their growing list of celebrity videos. And just last Friday, The New Civil Rights Movement reported that Attorney General Eric Holder and White House advisor Valerie Jarrett spoke about LGBT safety at a “Safe School” conference in Texas. But here are some people, doing great things, you may not have heard about.
At the Robert Louis Stevenson Middle School in St. Helena California, art teacher Kendra Kelperis has the students painting close up enlargements of their eyes on a giant mural in the school’s breezeway. “Research shows that when eyes are watching you, that actually changes your behavior,” explains Ms. Kelperis. “When you watch bullying happen and you don’t do anything, you make the problem worse.” Local High School students helped make stencils from photographs of each students eyes, and the middle schoolers then painted them on the wall. Ms. Kelperis said every student in the school was involved in some way.
If art is your thing too, you have until Wednesday to submit your entry for Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation’s poster contest. The Foundation, which was founded by the pop icon to fight bullying, is looking for original art it can use as a logo. The winning entry will include the foundation’s name and answer the question, “What does bravery mean to you?” Lady Gaga and her mother will select the semi-finalists, and a winner will be chosen by popular vote.
Earlier this year On Our Radar told you about GLSEN’s Safe Space Campaign, which begins with a rainbow sticker to identify sympathetic teachers to LGBTQ students looking for a friendly face. In Brunswick Maine, high school teacher McKell Barnes had a similar thought. She hung a sweatshirt with the words “Gay? Fine by me” in her classroom. She thought it might provoke conversation, but never expected a dozen students to approach her about buying a shirt. Ms. Barnes ordered 160 more to sell at school and on Facebook with the profits going to Brunswick High School’s Gay-Straight Alliance Group.
Also selling t-shirts is Melissa Richardson of Eau Claire Wisconsin, the mother of twelve-year-old Payton Richardson who took her own life as a result of bullying. “I’m throwing myself into this to give me something to get out of bed for everyday. Said Mrs. Richardson. “Payton was my everything.” Fat Boys Pizza and Bloomers, a local floral shop, have stepped up to help her market the t-shirts, window decals and magnets decrying bullying. The profits will go to fund scholarships for kids who speak out against bullies.
In Southport, New York, sixteen students in the Advanced College Placement Program of Notre Dame High School raised money to offer to the community a free screening of the documentary “Finding Kind” which tells the story of two girls on a road trip across American to investigate the “mean girl” phenomena. Later this month they will host a fashion show celebrating girls at the school who were bullied but are now determined to be part of the movement for change.
On March 25, in Annapolis Maryland, a girl identified as Sarah posted on Reddit, “The cyber bullying has gotten to the point where the school will not take any action unless I kill myself. Reddit- how do I get my story out and make this stop?” Over the next twelve hours, her plea garnered 4000 responses and Arundel High School was flooded with emails of concern. When Sarah returned to school, she found police officers, waiting to take her complaint and preserve the offensive tweets her bully had sent as evidence. Thanks to strangers on the Internet who acted, Sarah got her story out.
The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles (GMCLA) is offering to area schools a free program that includes tickets and transportation to a GMCLA concert. After each performance, the men take on the mentor role, initiating a discussion on bullying and being gay, and answer audience questions. But the group’s dedication to helping students overcome bullying doesn’t stop there. The men have developed a traveling group who work with schools to develop their own musical stage show to highlight the bullying problem.
I’m confident the GMCLA doesn’t have a problem finding talented students to work with, because I came across some extremely gifted teen performers using their musical abilities to send a message about bullying. If you like Glee, you are going to love the “lip dub” video made by the entire student body of Cypress Ranch High School in Texas. The original song, Who Do U Think U R, calling out bullies, was written and performed by student Kaitlin K.
If you’re as blown away by the kids in Texas as me, you can vote for them or hundreds of other entries in the Great American No Bull Challenge, a student led national contest for the best teen video calling attention to cyber-bullying. Some very impressive teen spokespeople have teamed with dozens of sponsors like SAAD and ISAFE to try to create a grassroots movement among America’s students to increase awareness of cyber-bullying. The prizes include a $10,000 video deal and a trip to the Sundance Film Festival. The announcement of the top 15 nominees will be made May 17, National Cyber Safety Awareness Day. Nominees will be feted at a Red Carpet Awards Banquet in San Francisco in June.
For every example of people stepping up to combat bullying I wrote about today, there were at least ten stories that touched me, but that I couldn’t include. There are probably hundreds, thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of stories that never made it to Google so that I could learn about them. Perhaps you know of one? If so, I would invite you to leave your story in the comments section below. Leave a link, if your group has a website. Today is a good day to acknowledge the efforts of everyone who is trying to make things better.
Happy Easter everyone. And thank you to all the good people taking a stand to stop bullying. You are On Our Radar.
Jean Ann Esselink is a straight friend to the gay community. Proud and loud Liberal. Closet writer of political fiction. Black sheep agnostic Democrat from a conservative Catholic family. Living in Northern Oakland County Michigan with Puck the Wonder Beagle. Follow me on Twitter at @uncucumbered.
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People have no idea how destructive bullying can be, or the long-term effects it has on someone. Even to this day, I am sometimes still haunted by what happened to me nearly a lifetime ago. I'm an adult now, with a job, but I have no social life, no friends because I am still afraid of how people view me. Bullying led me to be afraid and mistrust everyone, even loved ones. I still don't know if I can trust someone out of fear they will just use me to be the butt of a joke. I am so glad a documentary ike 'Bully' has been made, and that it hasn't been 'sanitized', because people NEED to know how amoral and inhuman bullies are. They NEED to hear the obscenities vicims are called, they NEED to witness the physical abuse victims suffer at the hands of bullies. They NEED to feel shame for standing by and allowing this behavior to continue. Parents need to wake up, stop blaming everyone else for their children's monstrous behavior. They need to make these kids listen and if not, face harsh justice when caught. I am only still alive because I am just too stubborn to give up. It is a battle I go through ever single day of my life. We, as a society, can no longer allow this issue to be ignored.
As someone who knows firsthand about bullying, what works? Is there anything that would have made things better for you if only it had been available?
It was the 80s, so bullying was never even thought about. You either put up and shut up, or protested and got the snot kicked out of you. If there were support groups for kids who were being bullied back then, it would've been a start. Kids NEED role models to look up to, kids NEED parents that love them and we don't have that happening now. It is NOT about coddling kids–that is utterly besides the point. Being demoralized and humilated and torn down day after day is not a 'rite of passage', as some people charmingly call it. There is nothing praiseworthy about tearing down another kid to show how tough one is. We have to start with parents knowing HOW to parent, which means not beating the daylights out of their kids and spouse if something goes wrong. It means treating kids as human beings. Teachers can't babysit everyone's kids–that's not their job. It's their job to educate those kids. Blaming teachers won't fix things either.
Victims of bullies need to be made aware that people DO love them, that their fears will be taken into account, that they will be protected. We need to show them in ways that is not demeaning to them, how to be strong, how to stand up for themselves and BE themselves. Communities need to stop ignoring the issue and look out for one another, even other children. I have only a blog and my own opinionated views. I can only do so much in this world, but I'm trying.
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