A personal account from the LGBT Leadership Summit in San Bernadino, CA
(Editor’s note: This piece was written by guest blogger Jane Wishon, a straight, Christian, mother of three who’s been married for nearly thirty-three years.)
Ingredients:
200 passionate people packed shoulder to shoulder
1 agenda that’s heavy on expert presentations and light on opportunities for the audience to speak
1 moderator who’s been instructed to seek consensus
1 meeting room with overburdened air conditioning, poor acoustics, and impossible sight lines
Season with technical difficulties
Combine ingredients and cook for 7 hours at 85 degrees.
Welcome to the California movement to regain Marriage Equality. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn’t it?
Oddly enough, at least in my opinion, it was far from a disaster last Saturday. True, there was absolutely no consensus to be found – even over whether the group should take a break for lunch.
Also true, the vote was a virtual tie on how to proceed in organizing for a return to the polls: convention model or coalition of the willing.
But allow me to digress for a moment. The major conflict in the room was between those groups that felt it imperative that the community go back to the ballot in 2010 to repeal Prop 8 and those groups that feel it is better to wait until 2012 or later. Numerous blogs and letters have been circulating in the California LGBT community in recent weeks advocating one of these positions – and the rhetoric has led many to worry that infighting will sink the cause before it gets started.
But when the time came for both camps to present their perspectives, a wonderful and strange thing happened. With only a single exception, the audience listened with respect. The questions were thoughtful and intelligent. There was no name-calling, arguing, or disrespect! Wow.
The important point was that both camps want to achieve the same thing: a lasting change in the way LGBT people are viewed in California. The 2012 group said they want to do that by canvassing and talking to enough people that Marriage Equality is supported by more than a simple majority – especially in the communities of color. The 2010 group (and I have to disclose that I’m part of that group) said that the way to communicate to California the importance of full equality is to go back to the polls as soon as possible and keep fighting until it is won.
In the end, the straw poll in the room was 93 for 2010, 49 for 2012, and 20 undecided. The coalition of the willing (aka 2010 group) is moving forward to make 2010 a reality. But, the 2012 group is also moving forward – continuing to canvass, having those conversations that are crucial to winning Marriage Equality whenever the measure goes to the polls.
Not disaster, not consensus, but cooperation; which could be more important.
Together, we can.
Newly “recruited” to the cause of LGBT rights, Jane Wishon is ashamed to say that she had no idea what the LGBT community endured until the California marriage cases last year. She actively campaigned for No on 8, and is now involved in the movement to repeal what she calls a “blight” on her state of California. Jane has started a group for straight allies that can be found on Facebook: Straight Ally Women 4 Equality – AWE. Jane also volunteers for AIDS Project LA, and twitters @janewishon
Related posts:
- BREAKING: Prop 8 Upheld 6-1
- “Vermont Acted Against The Will Of The People”
- Defending Your Life #1: Majority Rules?
- First “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Marine Speaks Out
- BREAKING: NY Governor Paterson To Announce Policy On Transgender Rights
{ 11 comments }
BEAUTIFUL job, Jane. Thanks for writing. And thanks for sharing it with us, David.
I loved your first blog post, Jane. Thanks for letting me know about it!
A beautiful and positive perspective. Nicely said!
Thank you for sharing with those that couldn't be there to experience the recipe first hand. Great job.
Hi Jane,
You know I'm a big fan.
Though I can't quite agree with you that people are cooperating (I did witness name calling, cuss words, hissing and shouting, and that behind the scenes of the summit, things are tense), I do know that you add such an amazing perspective and I'm so heartened so see such an amazing ally working so hard for our rights. You truly inspire me. And I hope to work with you in person very soon.
People have questioned, with my mission statement to unite, why I wrote a piece calling the summit a failure. Through my perspective, we have no unity. I write that we have failed to come to a consensus, failed to recognize each other and our shared pain, failed to trust each other and especially our leadership, and that how can we move forward when we have splintered groups following their own agenda? (And by agenda, I mean plan, not something sinister.) It pains me to see our community this way.
As I've said before, people have cried out, "Can you put a price on your rights?" If the price is sacrificing the unity of our community, then for me, that price is too high. It's not about 2010 or 2012 anymore. It's about finding a way to unite us. Only then can we win.
Unity is more important than full equality on LGBT issues?
There is no argument that a strong, united, and committed movement would make it easier to achieve our goals. But I find the level of discussion and interaction in the community healthy at this stage of the game. Last time we set back and thought the leaders knew what they were doing. They were wrong and we were wrong in sitting on the sidelines, letting them make the mistakes.
As you can tell this time around it is going to be different. More people are getting involved. More people want to be heard. Yes, it can be messy and disorganized. But I would rather have this level of passion than what we went through last year. So I vote for equality over unity.
Welcome to the blogosphere, Jane, and best of luck keeping the rest of your life in proper balance.
Hi there, Jane. Very nice job and I understand that a welcome to the blogosphere is in order – the blogosphere is lucky to have you. I almost wish I was straight so I could join AWE.
Cheers!
Thanks for an excellent report on what happened in San Bernadino. I've been leaning toward 2010 and after hearing some of the polling results am worried we can't win until 2012. Whichever way it goes, I'll be fighting to repeal Prop 8. We have a lot in common. I'm a straight Jewish woman, fighting for marriage equality for my children and for all people in California and in the United States. I won't rest until full equality is a reality.
Susan Berland
http://susanberland.yolasite.com
Great dip into the blogosphere, Jane!
As a fellow straight ally I sometimes feel like I don't have as much of a "right" to voice my opinion on when this issue goes back to the ballot as someone it directly affects. (I'm for 2010, too.) But for me the entire issue is a CIVIL RIGHTS issues, so being straight/LGBTQ/black/white/christian/agnostic/atheist shouldn't come into play anyway and civil rights DO directly affect all of us, so I’m going with the notion that my opinion matters as much as anyone else’s. (Okay, did that make ANY sense?
)
I've read, with great interest, varying discussions regarding the recent meeting of the minds, and Unite the Fight, I thought your piece did a great job of giving us another perspective. You can have 2 people or 200 people in a room and each and every person is going to see things differently, take something different away from it all, and believe it or not actually agree on some items. The most important aspect of it all to me is that they got together in the room at all! It is a common cause that did that (equality) and one that I have to believe is more important than egos and dates. And after the failure of those opposed to Prop 8 to get voters to see the sheer lunacy of the Yes on 8 argument, and have the proposition defeated on election day, I believe it’s a common cause which will overcome the inner squabbling in order for all to ally as one (albeit a sometimes splintered “one”) against those who continue to choose to deny equal rights to all.
I look forward to helping out in whatever way(s) I can!
Laura
(LauraAndRudy on Twitter)
Hi Laura and all who responded
Yes, I do know that the meeting was crazy – but, sitting in the front and counting votes, I was amazed at how focused the crowd really was.
Since then I have found myself embraced by the LGBT community in ways I never expected. I'm now part of the group planning Sunday's working meeting and see how many different perspectives are valued.
It is my greatest hope that many people from the Perpare to Prevail group (aka 2012) will be there on Sunday. Their concerns are important and valid – the 2010 Coalition needs to hear them. I believe that the work CAN be done in time for 2010 if we work hard enough.
Jane
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